


drums of the city rain

by kittybenzedrine



Category: Umbrella Academy
Genre: Agender Ben Hargreeves, Gen, Multi, Tags In Chapter Summaries, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:52:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 15,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittybenzedrine/pseuds/kittybenzedrine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Umbrella drabbles. Some set in AUs</p><p>Tbh they'll probably be between 100 and 1500 words each, but possibly longer</p><p>It contains spoilers for both Apocalypse Suite and Dallas, so make sure you're caught up!</p><p>Most of the chapters aren't related, and if they are, it really doesn't matter</p><p>Title taken from the song 'Brother' by Gerard Way</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Training [Vanya, others]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some minor violence in this one, vague mentions of what could be inferred as rape threats

Basic training had prepared her for this.

All the times Allison had slammed her into the wall had made her ready. No amount of struggling would help. Allison would slam her head into the wall until she begged mercy, unless she fought back. Since it worked on Allison's soft parts, Vanya knew a swift knee to the crotch and a head-butt to the nose would distract her attacker.

When she received a hiss and vicious punch in the face for her efforts and was taken to the ground, her mind swiveled. New position, new tactic. When Ben would get her on the ground, Pogo and Luther would both echo "Go for the weak spots!", though she never needed to be reminded.

A quick kick to the back of Ben's knee would always bring the 6'4 giant down with her, and a swift kick now brought her attacker down much easier, as he wasn't nearly as tall as her brother. She also knew from having Ben land on her so often that she needed to roll away, so that her attacker couldn't pin her down.

A hand went into her short, black locks, trying to drag her over to him, and she almost snapped at the strange man and called him Klaus. Klaus was all about cheap tricks, like hair pulling and clawing and well placed bites. She had a few scars where he'd mistakenly broken the soft skin near her pits, and he had a few scars where she'd done the same (on purpose, of course. He wasn't the only vindictive one in the house).

The man growled threats at her as he tried to get to his feet, promising all the awful things he was going to do once he got her deeper into the alley behind Spider's. His hand was still firm in her hair, pricking tears in her makeup covered eyes. He roughly yanked the handful, and she cried out.

Just as she had learned from experience with Klaus, an elbow to the nose and another to the teeth would stun someone long enough to get the vantage point.

They both managed to get to their feet, sneering at each other. He snapped at her and called her an ungrateful bitch, and she mocked him in return. He didn't like that. He threatened her even worse, and she laughed.

And when the man pulled a knife, she pulled her own, letting Diego's words ring though her head. _Don't let them get close. Strike only if you know you won't get struck. Disarm them as quickly as possible. Don't take your eyes off of them until they're disarmed._

Though, shoving her knife through the man's wrist also worked. His yells of rage and pain spurred her on when she pulled her blade out, and snatched the one that he had dropped.

She didn't like to tangle with Space. He was ten times as strong as Ben, and could break her jaw with a well placed slap if he wasn't careful. That much she knew. So when the man got up once again, out for her blood in exchange for his, she pulled the tactic she used when Luther came after her; she ran. She ran as hard and as fast as her 17 year old legs could take her, She ran until her lungs burned and still kept going, her unzipped coat flapping in the wind. No one else in the family could outrun her, not even Space.

When the house finally came into view, she nearly cried in relief. Her legs had begun to hurt. She jumped the security fence as she always did, climbed the walls and slopes of the house until she could tumble into the upstairs den, drawing the attention of her siblings who were already in there.

Naturally, they were all a bit curious/concerned about her beaten appearance, asking her what had happened on her adventure this time. Excitedly, she recounted to them just how hard she'd kicked the guys' ass, producing her newest knife as her trophy proof. She mocked his threats, watching all of her siblings go a bit pale at just what the man had said he was going to do to her, but laughing when she described just how she would have castrated him.

"And you told me running away would never help," she joked with Luther, earning a small smile from him, though he rolled his eyes.


	2. Somewhere old, something new, someone borrowed, someone blue. [ Klaus, Klaus' baby, others]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> non-explicit abuse mention, drug and alcohol mention, minor character death
> 
> Set during Dallas

He never really expected to ever be a father. It was never on the agenda. He didn't really fancy the idea of women in general, nor children. Sure, he'd dated a few single fathers and a single mother, and their kids had all adored him (ice cream bribes were completely fair game, fuck you), but he didn't like the idea of having one of his own.

He didn't have a good father figure. Verbally and emotionally abusive/neglectful, sent them to what could have been their deaths, _Ben's death,_ did awful, horrible experiments to Klaus that had left him emotionally stunted as an adult, drove him to his alcohol and drug addiction. Mom had been better, but Hargreeves had already done his damage.

But when the beautiful, young woman he'd been seeing came to him, took his hand and pressed it to her flat belly, he'd understood that he didn't have a choice.

Whenever she'd sleep next to him, her belly swelling up more and more, he'd wonder what she saw in him. She was only 19, and he'd just turned 31. He'd ruined all of her traditions, barely avoided her grandmother beating the ever-loving shit out of him for knocking her up. Though, they'd had a beautiful, semi-traditional wedding. She'd hardly been showing.

As she grew larger, his fears had shrunk. When they'd lay together, naked bodies pressed warmly to each other, she'd tell him what a wonderful father he was going to be. He'd kiss her swollen belly and smile when a tiny foot would press back, feeling his heart full of love for their little child.

She was sure, so sure that she was going to have a boy, as was he. Kraken, after he was through being angry about Klaus knocking a girl up and potentially ruining the timeline, snickered and bet him 20 bucks that it was a girl.

Two weeks later, when Klaus' wife took her last breath, leaving a small baby girl in her wake, Diego didn't ask for the money.

Her grandmother took care of her for those first few days, until the funeral had passed, for Klaus couldn't manage to get out of bed. He'd lost two loves in his life now. The first time, he'd been a young man, barely able to legally drink when his first love died, leaving the Hargreeves manor short a person. Then they'd all moved out, all unable to go on without the one they'd all lost. And then the beautiful, wonderful girl he'd married, shared his life with. The only thing he'd taken comfort in was the fact that she'd passed on peacefully.

He could barely stand to see his baby. Had to force himself to pick up her delicate 7 pound frame. Once he held his small, fragile daughter for the first time though, he never wanted to put her down.

"Look at you, huh?" He'd said softly to her, leaving a kiss on her small forehead. He'd leaned back in the rocking chair, cradling the infant you his chest. "You and me are a lot alike, baby girl. Killed our moms on the way out, have a shitty dad. Well, I promise you this, kiddo. I'll be a better dad than your dear old gramps was."

So he learned. He made bottles, changed diapers, gave baths. Got peed on a great many times by a giggling baby. Blew raspberries on a chubby belly. Mopped spit-up off of his favorite shirts with a smile. Started teaching her to walk around the time the televator was nearly complete. Loved her more than he'd loved anything in his entire 33 years of life.

He'd hold her close to his heart some nights, crooked nose pressed into her short, sweet smelling black hair, feeling the puddle of baby drool soaking though his shirt and cooling on his chest. He'd never wanted to be a father, but now that he was, he didn't want to give it up for anything.

And when he ended back up in the present time, with no way to get back to his little baby, he felt his heart break all over again.

At least the bartender gave him the whole bottle of Jack. He needed it.


	3. Mind your tongue [Allison, Claire]

"Mommy!"

Allison looked up, startled by her daughter's loud, pained cry accompanying the front door slamming shut. She set her book of crossword puzzles down on the sofa, standing up just in time to almost be barreled over.

"Mommy!" Claire wailed into her mother's stomach, big, fat tears running from her green eyes.

"What's wrong, baby? What happened?" Allison asked, crouching in front of her child.

The six year old clutched the front of her mother's blouse, burying her face against Allison's chest until she could speak.

"A bunch of sixth graders are spreading rumors about me! They keep calling me a bastard and calling you and daddy bad things, and- and-!"

The small girl burst into tears again, and Allison held her, patting her back and comforting her child. Despite the whole situation, she could feel herself smile. What her daughter didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"Well, they're not the only ones who can make up rumors. Let's see... _I_ heard a rumor thaaaaat... Hmmm... They'd stop being little shitheads and saying bad things about all of us."

She could hear a faint pop that she knew no one else could hear, smiling at her child's innocent face. Sweet child didn't know mommy had powers. "Because it's rude. Now, let's see if our rumor comes true, huh?" She asked, watching the barest hint of a smile creep over Claire's face.

"Okay," Claire agreed, wiping her eyes and nose on her jacket sleeve. "... Am I gonna get in trouble for saying the 'B' word?"

Allison laughed, starting to work her daughter out of her winter clothing. "No, sweetheart. You were just telling me what the mean kids were saying. Don't make a habit of it," she added with a wink, drawing a giggle from Claire.

"Now, you go change into your play clothes, and you can help me make dinner tonight, okay? Hurry up though, I want to be done by the time Daddy gets home from work."

She hung Claire's jacket on the coat rack, giving the faintest, fond smile as the heard her daughters' feet pound on the stairs.

 

 

 

"Well maybe if you weren't _fucking another man_ -!"

"Oh? You heard I'm fucking another man? Is that so? Well you know what, Patrick dearest? I've heard a rumor about you. Ooooh, have I heard a _rumor about you. I_ heard that-"

"Mommy?"

Both parents looked to their daughter, and Allison felt guilt bubble in her chest for letting herself get out of control. They'd forgotten that she had been let out of school early. The girl glanced between her parents, looking both confused and unnerved.

"... Can I go over to Michael's to play?" she asked cautiously, already edging out of the kitchen.

"Go ahead," Patrick told her, giving her the best smile he could manage. She nodded, glanced to her mother, and rushed out of the house, where they both heard the seven year old greet who they assumed was Michael.

"I heard a rumor.... That you're going to drop the subject, because I've been faithful to you our entire relationship," she said in a quiet voice, meeting her husband's eyes.

He glared at her, face turning red from restraining himself. He clenched his fists, took slow, heavy breaths through his nose.

"I don't think this marriage is going to work, Allison."

 

 

 

The eight year old regarded her cautiously, and Allison knew that Patrick and his girlfriend had been feeding her lies again. Inwardly, she gave Patrick a death glare. Nonetheless, she scooped her daughter up and kissed her on the face, kissing over and over with loud 'muah's until Claire was giggling.

"Momma!" The little girl exclaimed, wide-eyed. "Your arm!"

She squeezed her mother's newly fixed arm, flesh and blood, and Allison's heart skipped a beat when she realized she'd never felt her daughter with both hands before. She smiled and pressed her lips to Claire's forehead again.

"Yep. One of your uncles had some friends fix it for me, and before you ask, no, it wasn't your uncle Luther." She felt her chest clench a bit at mentioning his name, but wasn't going to worry her baby.

"Dang," the girl muttered, looking a bit disappointed. Allison smiled, carrying her daughter down the long driveway to her rental car.

They spent the weekend together, going to various parks, pools, and ice cream shops, enjoying their short time together. Allison listened to her daughter talk about any and everything, ranging from her new friends at school to how her father's girlfriend was getting on her nerves, On the drive back to Patrick's that Sunday night, Claire peeped up from the backseat.

"Mommy... Do you really have superpowers?"

Allison blanched, knuckles tightening on the wheel. "... Where did you hear that, baby?"

"Dad's girlfriend said so. Are you really the Rumor, Mom?"

She looked in the rearview mirror, meeting her daughter's eyes. "... I am."

Claire looked away, staying silent for several minutes while the landscape rolled by. "... Her and Daddy keep saying you're dangerous."

Her mother felt her chest seize up. Were they really feeding that to her? Why, for the love of god, where they trying to poison her baby against her? She may have been a dangerous person, but she'd never hurt her daughter, and she had no doubt that's what they had been telling her. She'd cut her newly made arm off before she ever thought of harming her child,

"I swear to you I'm not," she lied, looking to Claire in the mirror.

"I know. They're liars."

The shock on her mother's face was evident. She hadn't expected that.

"And Momma? Can I come live with you over the summer? It's boring at the house."

"... We'll have to talk to your father about it, but I don't see why not."

 

 

 

When Allison made it to her house late in the night, sans her daughter, she cried. But only a little.


	4. Mother dearest [Diego, Mom]

"Diego, how do you always manage to do this?" Mom asked softly, weaving a long strip of gauze around his forearm as gently as she could.

He glared at the floor, refusing to answer her. She sighed, using the medical tape to secure the end of the strip. 

"Honey," she started, and he inwardly groaned, already knowing what was coming. "I know you and Luther don't get along, but maybe it's for the best that you listen to him sometimes. You get hurt more often than not, and-"

"I'll get worse than hurt if I listen to his orders!" Mom jumped, looking startled at his sudden loudness. "He's an idiot, Mom! I see all the flaws in his plans, and he refuses to listen to me when I point them out! He's gonna get one of us killed one day, and I'm not going to let it be me!" 

He was seething by the time he was finished, his bruised ribs aching. She regarded him with a mixture of nervousness and pity, before soaking another cotton ball with peroxide and gently dabbing at a cut on his jaw in the silence that followed.

"I love you, Diego," she told him as she finished, handing him the top half of his costume.

He grunted out a 'yeah' as he pulled it on, ignoring her hurt look. He made his way out of the infirmary, pausing to lean against the door frame. "I love you too, Mom," he muttered just loud enough for her to hear, before heading up to his room.

 

 

A few years later, when they buried an empty coffin with Ben's favorite flowers on top, he didn't tell mom he'd been right all that time ago. He merely ignored his superior, unwilling to even look at that scum of a human being. It was going to be a long time before he could ever consider Space his brother again. 

When Mom started crying, Diego held her. No. He certainly wasn't going to rub it in that he'd been right. Not at the expense of his brother.

It should have been himself that died. Not Ben.


	5. Wrong [All Hargreeves kids]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something went wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna tag on a warning here. There's confirmation of sexual assault, and a large hint that it was rape. If it bothers you in any way, shape, or form, skip the fourth paragraph.

Something went wrong, and Luther no longer looked like he should. He had the head of a 14 year old, but the body of a Martian gorilla. It horrified all of them. Father said it was the only option, but none of them were too inclined to believe him.

Something went wrong, and Diego clutched at his eye. No one had seen what had happened, for it had been in the heat of battle. Upon further inspection, there wasn't much of it left. Father said an eye patch was the best he could do, but none of them bothered to listen.

Something went wrong, and Allison was pale. There was so much blood. Part of her arm, or perhaps the whole thing, was gone, and what was left burned like hellfire. Father gave her a heavy prosthetic and said it was the best he could do, but they all remained silent.

Something went wrong, and Klaus went silent. He didn't speak for over a week, and no one could touch him without him panicking. No one dared even breathe the words 'sexual assault' near him, let alone the dreaded 'r' word. Father said there was nothing to do, but all of them silently disagreed.

Something went wrong, and Number Five never came home. They all suspected time travel, as that was what he constantly boasted about. Regardless of how much of a snot he was, his siblings missed him. Father said it was no great loss, but they were all too young and scared to speak up.

Something went wrong, and Ben never came home, either. They'd been unable to find a body, and buried an empty casket with heavy hearts and choked words. Luther took the blame with silent guilt and a burdened conscience. Father said that things happened for a reason, usually stupidity, but they said nothing, choosing to move out instead.

Something went wrong, and Vanya fell into a trap. They turned her against a family that had turned on her, and almost had her destroy the world. Five put a bullet in her head and Klaus saved the day, and Vanya didn't remember a thing. Father said nothing as he was buried in the ground, but none of them would have listened anyways.


	6. Road to ruin [Vanya, Klaus]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non-explicit rape mention, just a warning.

"Vanya, do you ever wish you were like us?"

The question caught her off guard, shaking her out of her thoughts. She shifted on her bed, careful not to disturb Klaus, whose head rested in her lap, the rest of his body sprawled across her bed. She looked down at him, meeting his intense, if somewhat glazed stare.

"... Not anymore," she said after a moment in her soft voice, continuing her previous occupation of running her fingers through his red hair. "I used to, but I don't anymore. I've seen how much stress it puts all of you through, and I'd rather be the family failure than have to go through it too. Besides, and don't tell Diego I said this, but I'd probably have a power even more ridiculous than his."

He nodded and closed his eyes, content with the answer. He could feel the tension in her body, and he counted the seconds until she kept going, just as he knew she would. "Like... I mean... He's already broken me. He's broken all of us except Ben, and I hope you don't mind me saying, but he didn't _just_ break you. He absolutely shattered you."

Klaus hummed in response. "Even I knew that, sister dearest. Do continue."

She did. "Yeah. But like, if he ever manages to break Ben, we're all done for. He's the last little beam of light in our fucked up family, and if he cracks, we're all gonna fall to shit." She sighed, and he blindly reached back and patted her leg.

"It's not fair. Either one of us or him are gonna die one day, and we'll be lost because of the shit we've been put through. None of us are ever going to be able to fully fiction in society because he's emotionally stunted all of us. He's ruined all of us." She let out an angry huff, and he leaned against her hand a bit.

"He puts all of you through so much. He doesn't care what happens to any of you, as long as you can keep being his little puppets." She moved her hand to stroke his jaw, which she only did if she was going to say something that might upset him.

"Like when Number Five disappeared, just ten years old, and he didn't give a shit. He didn't care when Diego lost his eye. Cared when Space got in the accident cause he almost died, but it was only because he's the favorite. He only cared when Allison lost her arm because her body rejected the prosthetic the first time and he was worried she wouldn't be useful anymore. Fuck man, he didn't even care when you were raped a year ago. Didn't even try to put you in therapy or anything."

Her voice lowered as a heaviness settled in his chest, the unpleasant memories surfacing above his drug haze. "We deserve better than this. You definitely deserve better."

He leaned into her callused touch, willing his memories away. "I appreciate the sentiment. Would you be willing to play something for me, preferably a piece of your own creation?"

Right. She figured he'd want to change the subject after that. "... Sure. I wrote something the other night, but I haven't played it yet. Give me honest feedback on it, okay?"

He lifted his head, letting her get up before flopping back down. He closed his eyes, listening to her move. "Don't I always? Just play, Vanya. I'm sure it sounds wonderful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely adore the dynamic of a Klaus and Vanya friendship and it saddens me that so little of it exists


	7. Sticks and stones and lighters [Vanya, Klaus]

Two sets of light, makeup slathered eyes met, and the two teens grinned at each other, smug satisfaction written across their features.

All of it had gone off without a hitch, really. Hargreeves and Space were gone, Diego didn't give a shit, Allison turned a blind eye, and Mom, Ben, and Abhijat had been left out of the loop.

It hadn't been too hard to steal one of Ben's paintbrushes, and the old man never did bother to hide the lighter fluid for his Zippo, so Klaus and Vanya had no problem getting to work.

They each agreed to do one word each. Vanya's was done in her soft, beautiful cursive, each letter sharp and pronounced. Klaus, however, did his in messy print, but it still got his point across.

"Would you like to do the honors?" He asked sweetly, holding his lighter out to her.

She grinned, taking the disposable from between his fingers. "Why, thank you! I would love to!"

She struck it, and the two of them stared at the small, flickering flame for a moment, before exchanging a look. Klaus' black painted lips curled into a malicious smile.

"Do it, Vee."

 

Two days later, when Hargreeves returned, the words "fuck you" were crudely burned into his desk, half in cursive, half in print.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Klaus and Vanya are the dream team, and everyone knows it


	8. See all evil [Number Five, other Hargreeves kids]

Five had disappeared when they were all ten, sure. But he was there for everything.

He watched them in the distance, his brothers and sister, that he hasn't seen in fifty years, the exact day he'd disappeared. They'd fought as well as a bunch of slightly-coordinated children could, which was surprisingly well. He'd gotten ice cream from that same vendor an hour later, and it had been lovely.

Through the security cameras, he watched a villain drug his sister, then remove and devour her arm. He'd gotten a nice giggle out of watching his twin brother attempt to stop the bleeding after Terminology or whatever his name was had gotten way, watching the silent, panicked words as she started losing consciousness.

It had amused him to no end, watching an exact replica of John Wilkes Booth materialize out of thin air. Number Three 's face had been priceless, but she'd covered it up as a "I didn't know it would work, but of course it did".

He'd posed in the hospital, saw his siblings cry as they thought their leader would die. Even mean little Number Two had shed a few tears, steeling himself afterwards and preparing to take on the role of leader, whispering "just in case" to Number Seven.

Unknowingly to him, er, them, he knew Number Six wasn't actually dead. He watched as they were carried out of the building, unknown to villain. They'd been nursed back to health, their broken body slowly repairing itself. They loved the family, they truly did, but they swore they'd never return to the Academy.

He'd seen the more benign things as well, like numbers Two and Seven and their obnoxious little band, Four doing obscene amounts of drugs, Three riding around with boys and causing some trouble of her own, Six and their copious amounts of volunteer work, One and, well... He never left the house or the moon.

He saw all of it, and he knew what they did, what they were like. Their home lives. Their friends and favorite places to eat. He knew.

But they didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of clarification; I don't think Ben's actually dead. As of right now, the 31st of August, 2015, before Hotel Oblivion, my headcanon is that he's alive and well and never wants to be back with the Academy again.


	9. [[Insert joke about French girls here]] [Klaus, Ben]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU where Ben lived, but the mission that supposedly killed them in the actual timeline only maimed them in this one.
> 
> Team broke up anyways.
> 
> Klaus stopped doing drugs and cut back on the alcohol so he could take care of his partner.
> 
> Gender neutral pronouns for our dear monster child!

The loud crash of glass shattering on hardwood flooring echoed from Ben's painting room, drawing attention from Klaus. He set the butter knife down, immediately abandoning the lunch he was making.

"Ben, you okay?" He called worriedly, listening to his partner hiss out curses from across the flat.

"Dropped a jar of paint!" They called back, voice laced with annoyance. "Can you finish lunch? I need help cleaning this."

"No problem, babe. Just go ahead and come out here, I'll help you salvage what's left after we eat."

He remained paused, waiting until he heard the telltale sounds of feet and a cane on the floor to continue. He peeked at the hallway, trying to fight off his amused smile at Ben's angry face. Upon seeing this, their frown grew larger.

"Yeah, keep laughing, you dick," they grumbled, limping to the table with support from their cane.

"You know I'm just teasing, Benji," Klaus said softly, placing a plate of six sandwiches, neatly cut in half in front of them. "Eat and we can clean it up."

"By help me clean up, do you mean you hovering over me and snarking about me being a klutz while I clean up glass and paint?"

Klaus let a smile curl at his lips as he took his place at the table. "Perhaps. Or perhaps I'll actually help you clean, while I'm conveniently shirtless. And perhaps I'll let you paint on me after I happen to smear paint on myself."

Ben rolled their eyes. "You're gonna cut your torso open and I'm not gonna feel bad at all."

" _Suuuure_ , Ben."

 

 

Klaus did end up getting a nasty slice, and Ben did feel super bad about it.


	10. Do you feel it? [Vanya, Klaus, Allison, Mom]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol mention, abuse mention, and also feels. Lots of feels.

She'd never been much of an alcoholic; that had been more Klaus' thing. Drugs, too, though she'd smoked pot with him and popped her fair share of pills.

But Vanya had never been much into drinking. Now, however, she was beginning to rethink that.

She'd gone right under her father's nose and published her book, Extra Ordinary, and it had blown up. She'd given every nitty gritty detail of her life, her siblings' lives. Told the entire world just how terrible Hargreeves was, and how awful it'd been growing up because the normal one in a house of heroes.

Quite frankly, she'd been smug. The whole _world_ was talking. They may have known things about her that she was iffy about, but now the family that had made her suffer was suffering in return.

At least... She'd been smug until the calls came.

 

 

"Hello?" She asked, cradling the phone between her shoulder and neck as she stirred the thick sauce in the pan.

"How could you."

Her brows furrowed, and her hand stilled. "... Klaus?"

" _How could you,_ " he repeated, voice thick.

She turned the stove off, moving the pan to another burner. "Look, Klaus, I don't know how you got my number, but-"

"Fuck you," he spat, sounding as if he were on the verge of tears. "Fuck you for pulling this shit. I got it ten times worse than you _ever_ did. I was the one that he did all the fucking 'experiments' to, the one that was _literally fucking tortured_."

"I-"

"Shut the fuck up. Yeah, you were abused by him too, but you painted it like you were the _only one_ that he was an asshole to. After Ben died, you were the only one I thought I could trust. Obviously I though wrong. Fuck you, Vanya. We all loved you, but obviously you couldn't see it. Fuck you."

He hung up after that. She spent a long, quiet evening staring at the wall, letting her brother's words reverberate in her mind.

 

 

She sat up grumbling a few days later, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She glanced at her clock, the ringing of the phone echoing throughout the apartment. 2:38AM.

"Hello?" She asked in a huffy voice, scratching her thigh with her free hand.

"Vanya?" A gentle, feminine voice questioned.

She sighed heavily. "This is her. May I ask who this is?"

"You should know," the voice cooed, still soft and light, "Because you sure did talk a lot of shit about me in that little book of yours, baby sister."

"Jesus, Allison, couldn't you have called to bitch at me at a decent time like Klaus? And where the fuck did you two get my number?"

"Figure it out yourself," Allison told her, dropping the sweet edge from her voice. "What you did was cruel. You could have exposed what Dad did with minimal mentions of us. Instead, you broadcasted our personal business to the world."

"Yeah, I know," Vanya snapped. "I've had time to think about it, and maybe this wasn't the best method of revenge, but what's done is fucking done."

" _Revenge?_ You call this _revenge?_ " Allison hissed, sounding as if she were trying to keep her voice down. "Revenge would have been ruining Hargreeves' name. Revenge would have been setting his desk, sheets, and socks on fire again. This wasn't revenge, you bitch. This was ruining all of our names."

"Fuck you," was all Vanya could manage.

The sounds of a baby beginning to cry, and a heavy sniffle was all she heard before Allison hung up.

 

"OH MY GOD!" Vanya shouted at the ceiling, frustration lining her words. It was the fifth fucking call that day, not including her sister's call in the early morning.

"Yes?" She questioned in the most even tone she could manage.

"Vanya, darling? Is that you?"

Feminine, thick Bostonian accent... "Mom, I really don't have time to be bitched at right now. And where did you get my number?"

"I got it from your father, honey. He doesn't know that I'm calling. He told all of us not to contact you, but..." She trailed off.

"Well, Mom, I appreciate you calling, but Allison and Klaus have already called to tell me what an awful person I am, so-"

"Baby, no. I had a feeling that they would. I'm so sorry they did that, and I'm sorry you ever felt the need to write something like that book. I just wanted to let you know that you're my baby girl and I love you no matter what, and I always will. I gotta go, baby, I hear your father. Take care."

For some reason, that one had hurt the most.

 

She didn't hear from Space, Diego, or their father, which she was plenty fine with. She would rather have not heard from any of them, but at least she'd gotten her message through. Of course, she also had started to drink.

 _Pulling a Klaus,_ she thought to herself as she drained the last of her vodka.


	11. Withdrawal [Diego, original female, Klaus]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of an original character, aka Klaus' baby momma. Also withdrawals and yeah

Of course his idiot brother wasn't where he was supposed to be. Of fucking course. 

It took all of Diego's willpower not to slam the door as he closed it, looking around the room to find Klaus. All he found instead was the pretty barmaid that had hanging around his redheaded brother. Probably his girlfriend, even though everyone had thought Klaus was gay. (Turned out he swung both ways.)

"Bi'ch, do you know where the hell my idiot brother is?" He asked her, taking the armful of folded towels she offered.

"He is in bedroom. Very sick. Sent me out, asked me to finish towels," she replied. She looked at him, her soft brown eyes full of worry. "I think he stopped drugs. He been sick for many days now." She let out a sigh. "Can you put towels in bathroom, please?"

"Yeah, I got it. You know why he stopped?"

She remained silent all the way until Diego made it to Klaus' bedroom door.

"I have a idea why."

He sighed, ducking into the room as quietly as he could. It was dark, and Klaus was face down on the bed. Only clad in a pair of boxers, his pale skin seemed to glow, even in the dark.

He was shaking and breathing heavily, and Diego figured that if he touched him, his skin would be clammy and sweaty.

The blonde put the towels away as he'd been asked to, only turning on the bathroom light when he'd shut the door. 

"Bi'ch, please go," he heard his brother mumble out. "I love you honey, but it's not a good idea for you to be around me right now. I don't want to lash out at you."

"It's me, dumbass," Kraken said quietly, approaching the side of the bed. "What's wrong with you?"

"Withdrawals," Klaus admitted, turning his head to his brother. "I feel like I'm dying. My body hurts, I've got the shakes, I feel like I'm gonna puke, my head feels like it's splitting. It's fucking awful."

Cautiously, Diego sat himself on the edge of the bed, gently rubbing his fingers in circles on Klaus' exposed temple. "Why the sudden change of heart to get clean?"

The redhead stayed quiet, letting his brother rub his temples.

"I want to be a better father than what ours was."

Oh. _Oh_.

"Once your head stops hurting, I'm gonna yell at you. And probably beat the shit out of you. Because you're probably fucking up the time stream or something. Until then, I want you to know you're a good man."

"I'm not. I just want my kid to have a better father than what we did."

Diego sighed, opting to massage Klaus' temples until he feel asleep. 

Idiot. Fucking idiot. Didn't he know how to use condoms?

He left once he was asleep, going back to the living area. Bi'ch looked up from what was apparently another load of laundry, brow quirked.

"Congrats," he told her, getting ready to head back out. "I bet it's a girl."


	12. Am I pretty yet? [Allison, Vanya]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun reminder that I headcanon Ben as agender!

The bedroom door swung open and slammed shut before Vanya even had a chance to be startled. Allison locked it, half a second before someone banged into it, rattling the knob and yelling something indecipherable at their violet haired sister.

"Allison, what the fuck?" Vanya asked, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed.

"Sorry for busting in, but your room was closest and I needed a lockable door as soon as possible. Anyhow! All the guys, and, uh, Ben, have tits and a vagina, courtesy of me," Allison replied over the shouting, beaming at her mischievous act.

Vanya's face split into a grin. "Holy shit, I love you. What are the results?"

Satisfied that the door would hold for now, Allison stepped away. The yelling had lowered to loud cursing, in a pitch that Vanya hadn't heard since before they all hit puberty. Diego. Good god. The knob rattled again, but held.

"Weeeeeell," Allison drew out, dropping herself next to her sister. "Space has such a baby face. It's hilarious. The gorilla body looks pretty much the same, though. Muscles were a little softer, and his nipples were huge."

"Aw, were you hoping for giant gorilla titties?" Vanya asked, causing the two of them to burst out laughing.

"Gross," Allison snickered, noting the lack of sound in the hall.

"Anyhow," she continued, "Diego is about average, large B, maybe a small C. Not much of an ass, but still something to fill his pants out. He was the angry one at your door, in case you didn't figure that out."

"I did. What did Space do?"

"Sulked like a baby."

Vanya let out a laugh. "Of course. Go on."

"Ben is... Well, they're pretty flat chested, and like no ass, but goddamn they have some nice legs. They've got that real athletic build. The I-could-kill-you-with-one-swing-of-a-tennis-racket kind of build. Legs for days, nice body shape." Allison shrugged. "They didn't really care about the change."

"And Klaus?" Vanya asked, glancing at the door when a heavy knock reverberated off the wood.

"Just a minute!" She called, with no intention of going to the door.

"Oh, oh Klaus. _Hoooooly shit_. Real tiny waist. Thick thighs. Huge ass. Huge rack. Like, he's so gorgeous. I'm not gonna lie, Klaus is a pretty guy, but his hook nose and long face works even better as a girl. I'm not into the way girls look, but hot damn. You've gotta see what he looks like."

 

 

They were all beautiful, with their softer, feminine features. Even Space, with his giant gorilla tits.

Allison even managed to get pictures to commemorate their beauty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh Klaus would be such a pretty girl


	13. I'm not as think as you drunk I am [Ben, Allison, Klaus]

"Wow, Ben. Didn't take you as a drinker."

Without looking up, Ben took a swig from their bottle of vodka, not even wincing at the burn. They continued staring at the rec room wall, feeling Allison settle near them. "We're of age, and I'm not. Klaus upsetted me enough that I needed it."

"Oh no," they heard her say softly. Gently, with the barest brush of skin, she nudged their arm. They were used to people being grossed out by touching their ever-shifting, unnatural cool skin. "Come on, look at your big sister. What happened?"

"'Big sister'," Ben scoffed, a smirk ghosting their lips before disappearing. "I'm nearly a foot taller than you."

"Don't change the subject. What's up?"

When they didn't answer, she leaned over and took the bottle from their hands. "You drink all of this?" She asked, eyeing the empty space in the glass.

"Yeah."

"Ben, that's like... Two fifths of the bottle. You're probably going to get sick, and getting you to your room is going to be a chore as soon as the alcohol hits-"

"He cheated."

Allison stopped. "He... Jesus Christ, Ben, I'm so sorry."

"He won't even talk to me. Won't look me in the eyes. Muttered something about feeling guilty and he's sorry. He looks it, but whatever. It doesn't even matter anymore," they responded, letting out a short, humorless laugh. "It doesn't fucking matter."

Hearing them curse was unusual. The tears threatening to escape their eyes was also unusual. She frowned.

She leaned over and pressed a pink painted kiss to their left cheek before hurriedly getting up. She made her way to the door, setting the bottle on the coffee table in the middle of the room. "I'll be right back."

They listened to her leave, her feet race up the stairs, and fade into the hallway. Without looking behind them to watch, a tentacle slithered out from under their shirt and reached for the bottle. A door slammed into a wall upstairs as they took another drink.

And then the yelling started.

They couldn't make out words, but Jesus did Allison have some lungs on her. Klaus' voice rose above hers, but she quickly drowned him out.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Rang down loud and clear, and they couldn't help but smile. The swirl of alcohol had begun to fog their brain, and a vast hollow filled their chest though they had amusement on their face.

They caught "awful", "cruel", and "ashamed of yourself", among things. Served Klaus right.

The yelling continued for a good few minutes, and ended with a door heavily slamming shut. Ben cradled the bottle in their lap, listening to Allison's return. 

She sat back down next to him placing a hand lightly on their thigh. "You doing okay?"

They attempted to say "Yeah", which ended up coming out as a slur of "Yuh".

"Good. I shamed him, as you probably heard. Told him what a giant piece of shit he is, how wrong it was of him to do something like that. He's currently in tears, which I don't feel a single bit bad about."

Ben nodded, then decided that was a bad idea. Made them too dizzy.

Their sister laughed. "Now comes the chore of getting you to bed."

 

 

Late into the night, they were awoken. Klaus gently shook them, his eyes red rimmed and swollen from crying.

"What?" Ben grumbled, head aching something fierce.

"We need to talk, and I need to apologize."


	14. Fancy [Klaus, Ben]

Klaus hadn't worn a suit since he was twelve.

Until a few minutes ago, that was. It'd taken him nine years, and a little bit of bribing, but he'd put one on.

He went the whole nine yards to make himself look good, too. His face was shaven to perfection, not a stray red hair in sight. It'd taken him half an hour of careful plucking to get his brows to where he liked them. Hell, he'd even styled his hair for once.

"Now comes the fun part," he mumbled to his reflection, rinsing how toothbrush in the bathroom sink. Klaus patted on a little bit of aftershave, the pleasant scent filling his nose.

Back in his room, he eyed the neatly pressed clothing laying on his bed. He didn't wanna put it on. He really didn't. Idly, while still staring at the black and white clothing, he tucked in the undershirt he was already wearing. His pants felt loose. 

_Need to put my belt on,_ he thought to himself.

Begrudgingly, he pulled on a recently starched button up and did the buttons, securing a gray vest over it when he was done. All of it was tucked in, and he looped a dark belt with a shiny buckle into his pants.

"Can't believe Hargreeves is making me wear shoes," Klaus said aloud, tugging his fitted jacket on, while glaring at the new shoes on his bed. They weren't even pretty enough to add to the collection.

"I can't believe I actually managed to bribe you into wearing a tux," a deeper voice said from being him. A pair of arms went around Klaus' waist, and he sunk back against the body behind him.

"I can't believe he's making us go to this dinner party."

A pair of lips pressed to the shell of his ear, and he shivered at the breath ghosting his skin.

"I can't believe how good you look," Ben said lowly, pressing a kiss to the reddening cartilage.

Klaus smiled, twisting around in Ben's grip. He took a step back, taking in his partners appearance. Matching tux (except Ben actually put their shoes on), a deeply colored jade vest, which brought out the colors of their eyes. Their hair was neatly slicked back, sideburns trimmed and a little shorter than usual.

"And you said _I_ look good," he replied, straightening their bowtie. 

Ben captured one of his hands and kissed the scarred knuckles, a small smile on their face. "Come on, put your shoes and tie on. We have a ballroom full of guests to impress and a ton of alcohol to drink an inappropriate amount of."


	15. Bright lights and empty skies [Vanya, Inspector Lupo]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for signs of verbal/mental abuse and neglect

Winter in the City was blisteringly cold, especially in January.

Vanya was well aware of this, but still hadn't dressed for it. She hadn't expected to stay there for much longer.

However, things were beginning to look like all the other times.

She had tried to run away before, sure. Plenty of times. Quite obviously, it hadn't worked. This time wasn't looking much different, either.

She crossed her legs at the ankles, arms crossed over her chest. The wooden bench at the bus stop was freezing her butt and upper thighs. She fought back tears as she tried to make a mental list of things she was grateful for. The only thing that came to mind was her hair. She was grateful that she had only cut it to her shoulders, and not into the bob she wanted. At least her ears were warm.

Tears spilled over, and she quickly wiped them away with a sleeved arm, ignoring the stares of those passing by.

She was such a disappointment. She didn't have powers. Her intelligence was average at best. Her skills on the violin were merely adequate, if that. She couldn't do anything right. Hell, she couldn't even run away right.

But god, Vanya didn't want to go back. She didn't want to disappoint her father and siblings more than she already had. On top of that, she couldn't face her father. He made her miserable. He'd told her for so long how not special she was, that even encouraging words from Ben and Klaus didn't help anymore.

She hiccupped and buried her face into her arms, feebly trying to stop crying.

"Ms. Hargreeves?"

Vanya tensed when a hand pressed to her shoulder. "Vanya?"

Against her will, she looked up. She was a pitiful sight to Lupo, with big wet eyes and a reddened face. Gently, he took her by the elbow and pulled her to her feet.

"Your mother is worried sick about you, Vanya, and it's freezing. Let's get you home."

He placed a hand between her shoulder blades, guiding her down the road to where his squad car was parked.

"You're sitting up front," her told her, opening the back door to fish a blanket off of the floorboards. He shook it out and wrapped her in it, helping her into the passenger side. He peeled her shoes off and motioned for her to tuck her feet under herself, which she did. She sat silently while he buckled her in, making sure the blanket was secured around her. 

Lupo was used to these motions. His ex-wife had depression, and helping her with the most basic of tasks had been an everyday thing.

 

"Don't take me back. Please."

He sighed quietly, aching for a cigarette. He didn't smoke around kids though, and 14 still made her a kid.

And she _was_ a kid. Christ, all of them were kids. She had it awful, but he couldn't do a damn thing about it. Her eyes were big and mournful, and sadness clung to every angle of her bird-like frame. The last thing he wanted to do was take this girl back to a house where he knew she wasn't loved, but Hargreeves was a man that got what he wanted. And if he wanted Vanya home, Lupo had no choice but to bring her.

"I have to, Vanya. I'm sorry."

It was the only time she spoke to him, for the entire ride. As he walked her up to the door, to where Mrs. Hargreeves was waiting, he offered her a small bit of advice.

"Ask him to send you to boarding school. Clara Harp Intermediate Academy would do you just fine."

A few weeks later at a major drug bust, courtesy of the Umbrella kids, Kraken offhandedly mentioned that their sister had been sent away to boarding school.

"Somethin' 'harp'," Kraken told him.


	16. Lonesome [Diego, others]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The suffering hour has commenced

He rented the apartment under a fake name. Rent was always paid a day early or on time, but never late. He put tamper seals on all of his windows to know if they'd been opened at all while he was gone.

Diego could never be too careful.

Every night before bed, if he actually made it home to sleep, he triple checked all his locks. Everything had to be secure before bed.

Yet, no matter how exhausted he was when he laid down, he couldn't sleep.

He was too big for a twin bed, so he had to make do with a full. Even though there was barely enough room for him in the bed, it always felt so goddamn _lonely._

He kept tabs on nearly of his siblings the best he could. Allison had Patrick and Claire to go home to, that he knew. He'd seen his little niece and sister out around the town, knew that even though Patrick was seeing another woman, Allison had her daughter.

From a distance, every Monday through Friday, he made damn sure that Claire made it to and from school unharmed. From front door to school door and back, he watched every step. He was fairly sure Allison knew he watched her walk to school, which was why Allison didn't take her anymore.

Klaus... Well, all of the ex-cons doing community service at Shinyview really liked him. Every hour on the hour, he was checked on. He was fine, happier than he'd ever been at home.

Hell, even Luther had that damn robot on the moon. The one he named Ben from guilt of causing the death of the one person that held their shitty family together.

He didn't know about Vanya. From what he remembered about their teenage years, though, she had no problem luring a man into her bed for the night. He hoped she wasn't lonely.

He'd lay on his side most nights, tired and aching. Sometimes he'd wish he was home more often. At least he could get a cat to keep him company when he was there.

Some nights he could manage three hours of sleep, maybe four on a good one. Then he'd get up, shower, eat, and go be a hero for the next 32 hours straight. 

As long as he didn't stop moving, he didn't have to remember that he had no one to go home to.


	17. Just sleep [Klaus, Ben, others]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for a suicide attempt

Each breath that Klaus took was labored. Ever pull of air was a struggle, his head foggy and chest achy. Drool leaked from the corner of his mouth onto his pillowcase, spreading the puddle that had grown. His cheek was wet and cold.

Someone pounded on his door. It was the third time someone had knocked, and each time it had gotten angrier, as had the call of "Klaus, dinner!"

The angry knocking continued. "Klaus! I know you're not asleep! Get the hell up and come eat!" Allison shouted though the wood, jiggling the knob.

He didn't reply. He couldn't really talk. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth, and his head was just a little too unorganized for him to form words.

His sister let out a frustrated noise and stomped away. "Ben!" Klaus heard her yell. "Go break his door down or something! He's not answering!"

Things floated for a bit. His stomach ached something awful, and he kinda felt like puking. Didn't really even have the strength to grab his trashcan.

Really... He hadn't expected it to drag on so long. He'd hoped it would do him in quickly, but it'd been over an hour and he was still-

"Klaus!" Ben shouted through the door, messing with the knob. Sounded like they were trying to pick the lock. "Open the door! Seriously, this has been dragging on long enough. You know how Mom is about us eating together."

He didn't answer.

"Vee, get me a bobby pin and a screwdriver, the butter knife isn't working. Pick the plastic off the ends of the pin. Klaus! You're not asleep, don't try faking. I know how lightly you sleep." 

Klaus attempted to curl his fingers into the sheet, but found that he didn't have much motor control. Wonderful. He drug in another breath, blinking fog from his eyes.

Ben talked to him through the door for a minute or so, as long as it took them to pop the lock. In that minute or so, Klaus had begun blinking in and out of consciousness. Fucking finally.

Blink.

The door was open, with Ben glaring at him and the rest of their siblings behind him. Everyone was peering in with varying looks of displeasure.

Blink.

Ben had a hand on the side of his face, and a prescription bottle in the other. Their hand was cool and soothing. "Klaus, oh my god. Did you take all of these?!" They asked in a panicked tone, turning his head to face them.

Blink.

He was being lifted out of bed. His sisters looked horrified and panicked.

Blink. 

He was being carried down the stairs. He didn't feel too hot.

 

 

Blink.

He was well accustomed to the way hospital rooms looked, but not from the angle he was at. From the door was the view he usually had, but this time it was from a bed.

That must have meant that his suicide attempt didn't work. Pity.

A bit of movement caught his attention. Slowly, the turned his head to the right to see what it was.

The paleness of Ben's skin only accented how dark the bags under their eyes were. Their bright, beautiful green eyes were bloodshot and rimmed red. A shadow of white stubble had accumulated on their face. And... They were just staring.

"Did you do it on purpose?" Ben asked after a long silence. Tears brimmed in their eyes, but didn't fall.

His lack of answer was all Ben need for confirmation.

They stood. "Right. I'm gonna go call home and let everyone know that you woke up."

Voice small and broken, Klaus didn't manage to speak until they were almost out the door. "I'm sorry."

Ben paused in the doorway. "I read your note. I'm sorry too."

And then the left, presumably to place the call.

The note... What note? He didn't remember a note. What had he written? 

It clicked. Oh. _The note._ Just a quick little scribbled thing on the back of a clothing store receipt. He hadn't even remembered leaving it out.

_to dad, thanks for the depression and childhood full of torture disguised as "experiments". and thanks too for the drugs to help me make it go away too._


	18. Watch me, death defy [Luther, Monocle]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is ironically taken from the song Spaceboy by Smashing Pumpkins
> 
> TW for semi- graphic injury

When he awoke, he couldn't move from the neck down. He could breathe, sure, and feel his body (which didn't feel _right_ , but he didn't expect it would after the shuttle exploded), but he couldn't move anything that wasn't in his face.

He was terrified to open his eyes. His body felt... Too much, too different, too _wrong_. And his eyes felt cool. No mask. He felt naked without it.

Luther was surprised that he'd awoken at all. All the warning signs had lit up, alarms screaming, and then the blinding pain of the shuttle exploding. The pain was instantaneous and intense. Everything hurt, and then he was falling.

He hadn't been too far out, he'd survived the ocean landing. Nearly drowned, because his entire right arm and from the knee down of his right leg was gone, but he'd managed to float just long enough for rescue to get to him-

Wait. His arm and part of his leg had been blown off...

And yet he could feel them.

Completely uninjured. In fact, the only thing that hurt was from the neck up. Though he was paralyzed, he could feel his body, and his limbs didn't hurt like a reattached body part should. He could feel scratchy sheets on the tips of his toes. Could feel the fabric shift on his skin with every breath. And absolutely none of it hurt.

Luther Hargreeves felt terrified, and it was not a feeling that he was accustomed to. He didn't know what was going on, what was happening, or why he was alive.

A hand touched his face, near his left eye, and he flinched.

"I assume you're awake then, Number One?" He heard the Monocle ask, and a wave of relief washed over him.

He attempted to speak, but found that he couldn't. He could feel the air slide through his vocal chords, could feel them move, bit nothing would come out. Putting up a brave front, he opened his eyes, looking directly to his father. He didn't want to look down, not yet.

"Can't speak then. Expected effect," Monocle said, writing something on a clipboard. "You will be able to speak in time, but due to the trauma you sustained, I doubt you'll be able to vocalize for a few days."

"I assume you want to know what happened," his father said, setting the clipboard down. The old man picked something up that was out of Luther's line of vision. A mask was revealed, and fondly placed on his face. Fondly, but not affectionately. Favoritism only got you so much. The man crossed his arms, looking down and regarding his favored child.

"We presumed you were alive when the explosion happened. Faulty wiring caused a massive shortage, thus causing the explosion. You lost your arm and a portion of your leg, and sustained massive burns from the shoulders down. You also sustained fatal internal injuries."

Fatal? But he wasn't dead.

"Our dear Martian friend, that you were escorting back, was killed. He was away from the blast, but debris impaled his skull and killed him instantly."

The... Oh. Oh yeah. The Martian gorilla guy had been with him. He hadn't even remembered the great blue beast until then.

"He was an organ donor on earth standards. However... You needed much more than organs."

That was when Luther finally managed the courage to look down. As soon as he did, he regretted it. The first sound he made after waking up was a strangled sound of horror.

A large, furry, blue haired chest meet his vision.


	19. Trouble on the homefront [Allison, Patrick]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the... Second part? of chapter three!

Quietly, Allison twisted the thin band on her ring finger, waiting at the table for Patrick to return from tucking Claire in.

It had been a week since she'd rumored him to drop a subject, but things had cooled off. He hadn't seemed mad anymore. They were still sleeping in the same bed. They'd even made love last night. There had been no more mentions of divorce or things not working.

Except he'd said they needed to talk.

Nervously, she tapped her for on the kitchen tile, releasing her ring to sip her tea. Patrick's sat across from her, in one of the little china cup that his mother had given them. The steam curled off of his, though hers had cooled from the milk she'd added.

The stairs creaked as Patrick made his way down, footsteps slow and even. She had to fight off a sudden wave of tears when she heard him stop outside of the mouth of the kitchen, using old training to steel herself and then relax back.

He sat down across from her and took his own tea, giving it a testing sip to see if she'd added sugar for him. The atmosphere was tense as they both drank their sweetened drinks.

"I..." He started. "I don't really know how to say this."

"You still want a divorce."

It wasn't a question. Her voice and face were both plain, a perfect pokerface concealing the torrent of emotions raging in her.

"Yeah. I'm just... I'm not happy with you anymore, Allison. I think we just got married too early, had a baby waaaay too early. Not that I'd give Claire up for anything, but, you know. She just happened a little soon."

"It was your idea to have her."

"Stop that shit, Allison. I'm not gonna have a conversation with a fuckin' robot. Yeah, I know it was my idea, but still."

She sighed, pulling her feet under herself in the kitchen chair. "You're going to have to pardon the "robot" thing. I'm just a little bit crushed. I thought things were okay, considering you made love to be last night and, oh, I don't know, said you loved me."

Patrick looked away for a moment, cheeks a bit red. "Alright, you got me there. That was kind of fucked up of me."

"More than a little bit."

"Let's... Back to the main subject. Allison, we both know this isn't going to work."

"Why won't it work, Patrick? I'm perfectly willing to make this work! The only thing stopping this from working is your lack of trying!" She took a deep breath, then a drink of her tea. Things couldn't get done if she shouted. "Sorry."

"Look, Allison. I've been seeing another woman."

The silence was like the aftermath of an atomic bomb.

If the sound of hearts breaking was audible, she was fairly certain they'd both be deaf. She swallowed hard, feeling mascara colored tears beginning to go down her cheeks.

"So I was right about the secretary in the office?"

He ignored the question. "I just don't want to do this anymore, Allison. I'm lying to me, to you, and worst of all, Claire."

"So this is it?" She asked, voice cracking.

"This is it."


	20. I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire [Five]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for a gross mention of corpses

Five had only ever cried in such a way when they were about four years old, and had broken their arm in two places. "Such way" happened to be him sobbing so hard he was nearly screaming, the force of it wracking his body.

It had sunk in earlier that he was alone. He was well and truly alone. There was no one to cook him warm meals, no one to help him dig the glass out of his feet, no one to offer him a smile and sneak him and his siblings cookies out of the kitchen.

There was no one to make him feel small. No one to make him feel at all.

Seventeen days of isolation had taken its toll on the young boy. He was hungry for something that wasn't out of a can, desperate for a warm room and a soft bed to sleep in. Five was sick from the stench of rotting meat from dead corpses everywhere he went.

Curled up in a ball, in the little fort he'd made for himself in the county library, he wailed. His face was a mess of tears and snot, smearing around the dirt on his filthy face. His hair was matted and greasy, and he reeked something awful. He hadn't found enough clean water up bathe in for around four days unless he wanted to make the 30 mile hike to the river behind his old home.

He'd never felt so small in his life. He was filthy and hungry and alone, and all he wanted was to see another person. Chimpanzee. Someone to talk to.

Five, at the end of the day, was just a young boy left on his own in a ruined world, with no one to ever care for him again.


	21. Late night call [Vanya, Ben]

The phone rang and rang and rang, but Vanya didn't get up to answer it. It was the fourth time that it had rang, but whoever was on the other line hadn't bothered to leave a message. It didn't matter to her. She didn't care. Though, she was getting a bit annoyed at the ringing.

Even if she wanted to answer it, she had no will to get up. The apartment was warm, her bed was warm, the coffee in the pot was even still warm. But something cold and sad had taken ahold of her chest, chilling her worse than the snow outside could ever manage.

The phone stopped after nine rings, which she was silently thankful for. From her spot on the bed, she listened to the answering machine on the dresser crackle to life.

 _"This is Vee, you know the drill. Leave a message or don't, your choice,"_ her static-y voice said from the machine, voice foreign to her in her little prerecorded message. Obnoxiously, the thing beeped loudly.

 _"Vanya, hey!"_ Ben's voice called from the speaker, cheerful as always. _"I guess you're out of the house right now or sleeping or something, I know you sleep like the dead._

_"Anyways, I was just calling to tell you that I miss you! We haven't seen you since, what... Last Christmas? Yeah, I think it was then. But yeah, I just really miss you a lot!_

_"I still have your birthday present, by the way, since you never gave me your address. It's put away at mine and Klaus' house, so no one can tamper with it. I have another little thing for you, by the way, so you should come by sometime and get it. I'll even give you my keys to my house so that you don't have to stay with the rest of the family."_

They paused speaking for a moment, and when they started back up, all traces of their bubbly tone was gone. They dropped their voice, speaking in a way that couldn't quite cover their sadness all the way.

Her eyes blurred as she listened, having moved her line of vision to stare at the wall. She blinked and felt water run from her eyes. She wasn't blinking enough.

 _"I really do miss you, Vanya. It's just not home without you here. The offer that Klaus and I made you a while back to live at our house is still open, you know. He misses you too, like a lot. Not seeing you just sucks."_ They sighed, the sound a hiss through the static.

 _"Sorry that got sad,_ Ben said, a bit of happy returning back to their voice. The sadness still clung to the underneath of their tone, and she realized she was crying. _"But anyways, I just wanted up call to tell you Merry Christmas. I really hope you can maybe make it for the new year, because I really miss seeing your face. I don't know how long this message is, but I assume it's pretty long by this point. Sorry about that._

_"I'm gonna go now, so give me a call back, yeah? Klaus gave you the number to our home phone, I think in the last letter he sent, so call there, okay? We'll be there until the 30th. Seriously, call me back."_

Letter? What le- Oh. Oh no. She'd thrown that away. She scrambled to sit up, desperate to get the number and not have to potentially deal with the rest of the family.

_"I love you, Vanya. Bye!"_

"Wait!" She shouted, though she knew her sibling couldn't hear her. She pulled the phone from the cradle, pressing it to her face. "Ben?" She said into the receiver, hoping that she'd managed to catch them.

A dial tone buzzed in her ear. She looked over at the answering machine, where the red light flashed, signaling an unheard message.

Gently, she put the phone back in the cradle, wiping tears from her cheeks as she laid back down on her bed.


	22. Blank page [Ben, mentions of others]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is written in more of a journal format, as it's Ben writing most of this. So thus, it's switch from first to third person. Just a lil bit of warning

_November 17_

_Today marks five days until we can all legally drink, and if I'm being honest with myself, I'm probably going to "go to bed early" and listen to them complain that I'm boring, as always. Then I'm going to do like Klaus and get too drunk to function._

Ben looked up, making sure their bedroom door was indeed locked. Though it was irrational, they felt like someone was watching the minute the words were on the paper. They sighed and adjusted their position, raising the pen back to the book.

_It's getting a lot harder to function now days. Everything is... It's all to much, I guess. Things have been weighing down on me even more than usual._

_Vanya hasn't called home in nearly three years, and I miss her so much. She's my best friend, and I hate that she won't talk to any of us anymore. It makes me so angry. Everyone else was so awful that she won't even talk to the ones that love her._

_On top of that, everyone comes to me for their problems now. It used to be maybe a bimonthly thing, then a weekly thing, and now it's a daily thing. Everyone always weighs their problems on me. They all use me to be the middleman for their petty fights, their stupid "he-said-she-said" fights._

_I'm so sick of it. I can tolerate them dumping their problems on me. That I can do._

They paused for a moment, popping their knuckles. Their hand was cramping. With aching fingers, they continued.

_What I can't handle, however is what I overheard earlier. Allison and Diego were talking. About me. They'd said something along the lines that I was the glue of the family. That if something happened to me, they'd all fall apart._

_What I want to know is why the hell they put this kind of pressure on me! Don't they know how much they're asking of me? They all expect more of me than dad does, which is a huge thing because he also expects a lot of me._

_Yeah, okay, I'm a good moderator. I'm good at helping them when they need someone to listen. I'm kind, polite, etc._

_But they want me to stagnate. They want me to stay this calm, nice, easy going person. They want me to be here for their troubles. They want me to just be their personal... I don't know, but they want so much of me without returning it._

_No one asks me how my day is. No one asks me if I'm having troubles. None of them want to hear that I'm miserable here, or that it's so hard to take care of myself when I have to take care of them and Klaus too._

_His problems, I can handle. I can listen to all of it and help him, because that's what partners do. I love him, and I don't want to speak ill of him, but he doesn't really hold up his end of the whole relationship thing. I feed him and help him bathe when he's too messed up to do it himself. I clean his room, do his laundry, help him do his chores, all while trying to do all of that for myself too._

Ben set the pen down for a moment, massaging their hand while they collected their thoughts. Absentmindedly, they stopped to run their fingers through their hair, making a mental reminder to get it cut soon.

_It's just too much. I want so badly to just stop existing. I can't handle all this. They put the weight of the world on my shoulders, and instead of helping me hold it up, they sat on my shoulders too. I can't take this._

_I want to get away from all of this. Put Klaus in rehab and leave. Find myself while he's getting better, come back for him when he's better. I just need a break from everyone and everything._

_I don't want the world on my shoulders. I don't want to start resenting my family and the man I love. It's easier to just... Dissociate myself from everything. I'm already dead inside, if I'm being honest. I want to get away from here better it kills me on the outside instead of just the inside._

Quietly, they capped the pen and tucked the journal under their nightstand. Ben laid back on the bed, closing their eyes, taking just a few more minutes to relax and rest.

A heavy, fast knock at their door made them open their eyes. Immediately, they felt everything inside... Shut down.

"Ben! I need to talk to you!" Allison called through the wood. 

Mechanically, they got up and lumbered to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open. They hadn't even realized they had a reassuring smile on their face until she pressed her face to their chest.

"Can we talk? My boyfriend is being a dick."

"Of course, Allison. Isn't that what I'm here for?"

"Yup. You're the best, Ben."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The suffering hour has ended. Thank you for your time.
> 
> More suffering will happen at some point. Probably soon.


	23. I know when you got troubles you just tell it like it is [Klaus, Vanya]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could either take place before or after Dallas

“Klaus, are you alright?” Vanya asked, lightly scratching her nails through his hair. He remained silent, head down on her thigh, facing away from her.

“Klaus?”

She gave his hair a light tug, drawing a grunt from him. 

“I’m fine,” he replied after a moment. “Just… Just thinking.”

“About what?”

He went silent again, but she could tell that he wasn’t ignoring her this time. Klaus scooted his chair closer, then threw an arm over her immobile legs.

“I think about my mom a lot.”

Her pale brows furrowed, and she tangled her fingers into the long stands at the nape of his neck. “Why do you think about Mom?”

“No no no,” he muttered, turning his head to look at her. “My mom. The one that I exploded out of.”

Faintly, she recalled Allison telling her about the way they’d all been born.

“Why?” 

He looked into her pale eyes, his own a stormy gray in the fluorescent lights. 

“I want to know about her, and by extension, me. I want to know what she was like. Do I get a lot of my weird mannerisms from her? Was she also a redhead? Are my eyes the same color as hers? Did Mom name me Klaus because I’m from Germany? Was my mom a survivor of World War Two, if we’re German?”

He paused, stormcloud eyes foggy and glassed over. 

“I want to know if she survived my birth, too. I don’t want her to have been the first person I killed.”

Vanya continued stroking his hair, unsure of what to say. Klaus closed his eyes, nudging against her hands, doing so until she started lightly scratching his scalp again. He gave a soft, content sigh.

Within minutes, he was asleep, leaving Vanya to do the wondering for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied about the suffering being over
> 
>  
> 
> This is also on my Tumblr somewhere in my writing tag. *shrug*


	24. Pretty Monster Boy [Luther, Ben]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the headcanon that Space was around 14 when the whole Mars accident/ gorilla body fiasco happened.

 

"It's strange having to look down to talk to you," Space commented to Ben, who hummed and nodded in agreement, their back to their brother. "Just a few weeks ago, you were taller than me."

"Yeah. I can imagine the small things like that throw you off the worst."

Space went silent, carefully sitting in a chair as Ben cleaned one of the large windows in the dining room. Quickly, efficiently, they finished one tile of the glass and set their wad of Windex soaked paper towels down.

"Something on your mind?" They asked, leaning their large frame against the wall. "You've come around me a few times the past few weeks, and you've acted like you've had something to say but never did."

Space shrugged noncommittally, looking away. "I have a question, but I'm not sure how to ask without offending you."

Ben's brows drew together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You've gotten upset in the past when people bring up how strange the Horror itself is, and how..." He fished around for a word. "How weird it makes your body."

"That's because it's you guys usually making fun of my multiple voices, my cold skin, and the way my skin bubbles up and ripples and stuff. You know, things I can't control," they said with an as-a-matter-of-fact tone. "I don't really see what this has to do with anything though."

Space went quiet again. He wrung his giant hands, feeling the calloused palms and finger pads.

"This was stupid. Nevermind," he said, getting up as quickly as he could without knocking his chair over.

"Space, hey! Space! Luther! What was your question?" Ben called after him, but Space ignored them and made his way up to his room.

 

 

At curfew, a folded piece of paper was wedged under his door. He stared at it for a moment before pulling himself out of his bed and taking it.

He cracked his door open. Vanya was the only person out there, and the two of them didn't interact so he doubted she was the one that left the paper.

Door shut and back in bed, he delicately unfolded the paper.

 

 

 

_I have a feeling I know what you were going to ask. It was about how to deal with having a monstrous body, right? (if this sounds mean I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be. Just trying to relate)_

_Having a weird body is hard. I know what you're feeling, to an extent. The staring. The judging. The invasive and rude questions. I go though it all the time, so I get what you're feeling on that._

_The best advice I can give you is to just accept it. Accepting it makes it so much easier to deal. Yeah, you have a weird monster body. Oh well. There's nothing you can do to change it._

_The stares are going to happen. The questions are going to happen. Correct them if they're rude. Answer the questions if you're comfortable with it, tell them it's inappropriate to ask if it is._

_If I of all people can deal with it, you definitely can. You're stronger than you think, and no, I don't mean physically. None of us could have dealt with going what you went though. But you did it, and look at you now._

_If you have anything you need to ask, go ahead. Good luck. -Ben_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You should definitely read another of my stories, ripples and bubbles, if you want my headcanons on Ben's weird body ♥
> 
>  
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4387565


	25. Art connoisseur? [Mom]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK AFTER 3+ MONTHS OF HIATUS
> 
>  
> 
> WRITERS BLOCK IS A BITCH

One evening, Mom Hargreeves discovered a new piece of art hanging up in the dining room. Upon closer inspection, the framed piece seemed to be Vanya's handiwork. It was a lovely piece, if a bit out of place and hung a bit low.

She decided to leave it be and not question it, which was usually her best course of action.

Except, about two months later, another framed picture appeared. It was a strange abstract mess that had mountains of glitter on it, which she assumed was Klaus. The picture, however, was in a downstairs hallway. At the exact same height that Vanya's had been at. Yet again, Mom bit her tongue and refrained from questioning her children.

Over a period of three years, framed art from all of her children littered the walls of the house in seemingly random locations, all at roughly the same height.

Three years was a long time for Mom to not ask. It gnawed at the back of her conscious, and she eventually went through the house, taking every picture off the wall with the intent to examine all of them. She hoped to find clues as to why her children suddenly decided to become artists.

What she found was so much worse than she expected.

_"WHY IN THE HELL ARE THERE HOLES IN THE WALLS?"_

She stormed into the rec room where all of her teens looked up at her, startled that their soft-spoken mother had yelled. All of them seemed to shrink away from her. She clutched the frame of a rather serene painting of the field behind the house that Ben had done, glaring between her kids.

"Why in the hell," she repeated through gritted teeth, "are there holes in the walls?"

Diego immediately looked nervous, so she zeroed in on him. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" He replied, sounding anxious and looking startled that she had turned her anger to him.

"You're lyin'. What did you do?" She shot back, looking at him with a fury they rarely ever saw her with.

He fidgeted, caught off guard by her. He felt his siblings purposely keeping their gazes off of him. "I didn't do anything, Mom!"

"Diego, _so help me god_ , what did you do."

After a quiet pause, he muttered a reply, looking away.

"I can't hear you. Louder," Mom demanded.

"You know how I punch walls when I get angry?" He mumbled a little louder.

The room was unnervingly quiet for several long moments. All of the kids refused to look her direction, knowing they'd been caught covering up their brothers' misdeeds.

"All of you are getting extra chores for a month," she said flatly, looking between all of them. "And you, mister, are getting double patrols for two weeks. You're _very_ lucky I'm going to lie to your father about why. You can deal with his punishment wherever he finds out on his own. And _I swear to god, Diego,_ if I find anymore holes in the walls, you're going to forget what your bed feels like because I'll have you doing so many chores and patrols."

And with that, she stormed from the room to go put the picture back on the wall.

 

 

After a long silence, Vanya spoke up.

"Dude, you are sooooo fucked when she finds out what you did to the garden earlier."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is completely unrelated but it's 4:45 in the mornin and i just heard my uncle cackle in his sleeps
> 
> I just needed to share that with someone


	26. *faint lullaby music* [Diego, Vanya]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaa 14 year old babies

Being far too tired to react, Diego merely turned his head to face whoever had unexpectedly flopped down on the sofa next to him.

In only a tank top and a pair of worn pajama pants, with trace amounts of eyeliner still smeared around her eyes, Vanya looked dead enough to give Klaus a run for his money. She had heavy bags under her eyes, and Diego assumed the same for himself. It was rare that he had his eye patch off since his recent injury, and his sibling took full advantage of examining his scarred, damaged eye before actually focusing her attention on him.

"Dude," she slurred out, voice thick with exhaustion. "It's like four in the morning. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Can't sleep," he mumbled back.

"That's fair."

They sat in a companionable silence for a minute or two, before Diego's brows furrowed.

"Why aren't _you_ asleep?"

She sighed heavily at his question. "So earlier, dumbass chugged half a pot of coffee and-"

"Klaus?"

"Yeah. He chugged half a pot and dared me to drink the rest and I did. Now I can't get my heart rate to slow down enough to do more than rest."

He let out a short "hah", which he hoped conveyed the fact that he did actually think it was funny.

"It's completely your own fault, but that's still shitty," he told Vanya. He received a solemn nod back from her.

She curled up into the corner of the sofa, resting her head on the arm. He scooted up next to her, using her thigh as a pillow as they both attempted to get tired enough to go to bed.

"Hey Dee? Does your eye hurt if you touch it?" She asked, words barely coherent.

"Does your tit hurt when it's punched?"

She nodded, seeming to accept his retort as a suitable answer.

Slowly, she found herself going in and out on the edge of sleep, occasionally being startled out of it when he startled himself. Though neither remembered, they exchanged a goodnight shortly before succumbing to sleep. They were found curled up in much the same way a few hours later when everyone else began to wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Klaus woke them up a few hours later with his face inches from theirs.


	27. While everyone's lost, the battle is won [Klaus]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you think klaus would tell the rest of the ua ppl about his baby? Would he try to find her again? I hope they'll actually meet again when klaus is doing a dance performance and she's in the audience. or do you think the temps aeternalis would kill her in order to protect the time stream? which, if they would, would probably result in klaus murdering all the temps, do not fuck with his kid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for violence, murder, death, and what can be viewed as torture.

“Do you know why everyone regarded me and Rumor as the two most dangerous, even though our number rankings were in the middle?” Klaus asked, pacing in a small circle. The room around him was filled with members of the Temps, all of whom had their guns firmly trained on him.

He was far too calm for a man who had just witnessed the murder of his only child.

“Well?” He said loudly. He looked up and around, meeting the gaze of several of them. His eyes were bloodshot and held a surprising level of calmness. “Anyone have an answer for me? I promise I won’t laugh if you have a dumb answer.”

He paced in his circle for several more moments, eerily calm. “No answers, hm? I guess it’s time for the demonstration.”

At that, choking and strangled gurgling filled the room as the Temp members were telekinetically picked up by their throats.

“It’s because we can do what the rest can’t. She can speak and have someone dead as soon as the words leave her mouth. I can do as I’m doing now and pick all of you off the ground and suffocate you without ever lifting a fucking finger. I could make your eyes explode out of your heads, simultaneously snap the spines of all of you with a single thought. And usually, I have no reason to.”

He looked around, watching the room full of men up in the air and choking with a perfectly objective face.

“But of course, I do have a reason now. You all know why. I’m fairly certain one of you were the sack of shit to pull the trigger on my baby girl. And since I’m a bit too distraught to play process of elimination, you all get to die together. So mentally thank your buddy who did it, because if you’re not dead yet from suffocation-” He clenched his hand, using a mental cue he’d made for himself.

“-Then this crushed windpipe should do you the rest of the way in.”

He let the mass of bodies fall around him, surveying the room. No one moved, which meant he’d done his job correctly.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some mourning to do.”


	28. Sour bottle baby girl [Allison, Claire]

It was strange, Allison thinks to herself, to hear a tiny heartbeat at the doctor's office. Stranger so to see the flutter of the fetus inside of her, pressing against her insides. Strangest of all to feel the small baby against her bare skin, so warm, so new.

So precious to her.

They name her Claire, after Patrick's favorite aunt. Original Claire is dead, and Allison found it a little strange to give the name to her child, but she did it anyways. It's a nice enough name. It suits her baby. It means bright, if the baby name book was correct. Bright and clear. 

Allison kisses the top of her baby's head, the light lavender fuzz tickling her lips. The baby wiggles at the touch and awakens, then nuzzles her face down until she can latch on to one of her mother's breasts. Allison sits up a little, so that the baby doesn't choke while she eats. She runs her free hand down the baby's back, looking at her little peaceful face.

She... isn't sure if she loves the baby yet.

She cares about her, sure. But she's not sure if she'd say she loves the baby. Her mother-in-law said it was normal. Said she loved Polly, Preston, and Peter when they were born, but didn't love Patrick right away. Her mother-in-law's mother didn't love ANY of her children when they were born. It was normal, Allison was reassured over and over.

"You just watch out for them baby blues, Ally. They didn't know Preston's wife had it until she damn near smothered her firstborn."

She doesn't think it's baby blues, or postpartum depression as the doctor called it. She's just not attached yet.

Allison gently touches her baby's head, wipes the dribble of milk from the corner of the baby's mouth and off of her breast. She burps the baby when she's finally had her fill of milk, and curls up under the blanket with her. She kisses the baby- Claire, she corrects. She kisses Claire on the head and keeps their skin in constant contact.

She didn't rumor this baby into her just to not love her.


	29. High School AU [Klaus, Ben]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not back from the dead, I am sorry. This was written for a challenge on Amino

"I look stupid."

"You look great," Klaus counters, coming around and straightening the bowtie on the front of Ben's button up. "You're gonna knock her dead, Benny-boy."

"Well I sure hope I don't," Ben replies, laughing when Klaus grins.

Ben's got plans to ask someone to prom, apparently. He won't tell Klaus who though, and it's a pain. He knows it isn't Vanya, she's going by herself. Allison is going with whatever boy buys her a ticket first, which is probably going to be Patrick from physics. Diego's going alone purely because Vanya won't go with him, the poor love-sick bastard. Luther's going alone for the same reason as Diego, and Allison doesn't care enough to pretend that she doesn't care. Luther's weird twin brother isn't going at all, thankfully. Klaus himself is going stag.

Ben doesn't really have many more friends outside of their group, and what other few female friends he has are either taken or uninterested. So it's a bit pain in Klaus' ass that he can't figure out who Ben's going with.

"Alright, go sit at the vanity. Doing your makeup," Klaus tells him, light pushing Ben along. Ben's a good eight inches taller and many, many pounds heavier, so it doesn't work that well. 

Ben shakes his head, planting his feet firm in the carpet. "No, nuh-uh. I said you could do my prom makeup, not the pre-prom makeup."

Brushing red hair from his face, Klaus rolls his eyes. "Fine, fine."

At the front door, Klaus claps Ben on the back. "Do good, I believe in you, I've got ice cream in the freezer if you get rejected. Have fun."

Ben nods, jingling his car keys in his pocket to ensure they're still there. "Yeah yeah, I believe in myself. I'll see you later." He leaves a moment later, smoothing his shirt out as Klaus closes the door behind him.

As Klaus is heading back to his room, there's a knock on the front door.

Brows furrowed, Klaus paces back to the door and pulls it open. "You forget something?" he asks Ben, opening the door wider. "You know you don't have to knock over here."

"Will you go to prom with me?" Ben questions, looking sweet and proper.

"You don't have to practice anymore," Klaus assures him, reaching up to pat Ben's shoulder. "Next person you ask that to needs to be your future prom date."

Nodding, Ben repeats "Will you go to prom with me?" far more slow than the first time.

Klaus blinks.

"... I hate you."

Ben breaks into a grin. "So does that mean you'll go with me?"

"You're the absolute worst, and yes I'll go with you, but you could have asked me straight out. No need to be elaborate about it." Klaus turns on his heel, heading to the kitchen. Ben follows behind, looking smug.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> I have [my blog](http://iwillpooponthefloor.tumblr.com) on tumblr, if you'd like to check that out 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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